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A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their German Shepherd Jesus".
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A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger…
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch …
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A cat dies and goes to heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You have been a good cat all these years. You can have anything you desire, all you have to do is ask.' Well,' said the cat, 'I lived all my life on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' 'Say no more,' says God and instantly a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer he made to the cat. 'All our life,' the mice say, 'we've had to run. Cats, dogs, women with brooms have chased us. If we had roller skates, we wouldn't have to run any more.' God says he can take care of it and, instantly, eac…
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American Flag were mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor McGwire, what is this?" Alex asked. "Well, son, it's a memorial to the men & women who died in the service. "Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "W…
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A priest and a bus driver both go to Heaven at the same time. St. Peter shows the bus driver his house, which is three houses away from God. During this time, the priest is thinking to himself, "Since I'm a priest I should be right next to God!" Then St. Peter turns towards the priest and beckons him to follow. The priest follows for three miles when they finally come to a house. St. Peter tells the priest that this is his house. The priest looks horrified and says to St. Peter, "I don't understand! The bus driver is really close to God and I'm a priest! That doesn't make sense! St. Peter replies, "Oh, that's easy to explain. When you preach, people sleep. When the bus dr…
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Introduction: A young boy desperately wanted a bicycle for Christmas, so he asked his parents for the bike; His parents wanted to teach him the importance of prayer, so they suggested the young boy should write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead." Not pleased with the response of his parents, he immediately threw a temper tantrum and his parents sent him to his room. Once he was in his room he decided to take his parents advice and write a letter to Jesus. Dear Jesus, I’ve been a good boy this year and would love a new bicycle. Can you see if I can have a new Bicycle? Your Friend, Johnny Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he had been that year…
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Holy Father, I come to you today and put before you all the monitoring spirits and familiar spirits that are watching my progress and coming against the purpose and plans you have for my life. I ask that you would scatter every evil gathering that are made against me in Jesus Name. Disrupt their camp and send confusion within their communication. Disrupt their meeting and destroy the foundation of their meeting place. Fashion your weapon of devastation to destroy them. Absolutely no weapons that are formed against me shall prosper and any tongue that rises up against me in judgement You will condemn. Keep and guard me as the apple of your eye and hide me under the shadow …
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Gossip is one of the most destructive of all human sins. What does God think about it? What biblical principles can we apply to stop gossip in its tracks? A Definition of Gossip Let’s first take a look at a secular definition from the dictionary about what gossip is. The definition of gossip includes: Rumor or talk of an intimate nature that is personal and sensational. Something spoken by a person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts [1]. The words that stand out to me are “personal”, “sensational”, “rumors” and “spreads.” These are spoken by others about someone that can involve rumors or facts, but either way they are private…or at least should be…
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We believe in One God. We believe that this One God is Three Persons. Although each Person of the Trinity equally shares One and the same Essence, each Person is distinct in role. The Father is not The Son (we cannot say The Father became man), The Son is not The Spirit (we cannot say The Son descended like tongues of fire upon the Apostles), and The Spirit is neither The Father nor The Son. So, at the risk of a tragic oversimplification, we can affirm that The Father is The Source and Cause, The Son is The Incarnate Logos, and The Spirit is The Seal. Each Person of The One God has a distinct function. When one digs into this passage, one will find the depth of this theol…
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